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[elmono311]

This is something I wrote out awhile ago while I was bored at work. It mostly concerns areas regarding the theater. I've been meaning to publish this on the internet for quite some time and I guess this is a perfect place :-)

-It's VHS, not video. Video is any form of visual medium. DVD is video. MPEG is video. WMV is video. Betamax is video. DivX is video. TV is video.

-Yes, you can come back. That's what a ticket stub is for. It's your proof of purchase

-It's a heck of a lot easier to keep your tickets together instead of each person handing them to the usher... especially the big groups. It's easier for the usher and it's easier for you and you can get to your movie faster

-If you don't know where something is, look up. That's what signs are for. If that fails, look around. Signs do have a purpose

-Brights should be turned off unless you're on a pitch black road with no oncoming traffic or traffic ahead of you. Blinding other drivers is not good

-Turn off your damn turn signal if you're not turning

-The left lane is the fast lane and the passing lane. If another car comes up to you in the left lane, he's faster than you. Get over

-There is a reason for the speed limit. You can go as fast as the sign says and going five over is okay

-Do not fan your tickets out when giving them to an usher. It's annoying and the usher is just going to put them back straight

-There's no reason why a ticket should be upside-down with a rightside-up ticket

-Folding tickets in half is annoying

-There are trashcans for a reason, dumbass. I don't know why people believe theaters and sports stadiums are gigantic trashcans. If you are capable of bringing the food to your seat, you are capable of throwing your trash away. Do you leave trash around your house expecting it to be picked up right away (shush you people with maids)? Heck, if you think about it, trash is lighter than the food you brought in and the trashcans are a heck of a lot closer than the concession stand is

-When there is a left turn on green, get out into the intersection. Don't sit like a dope at the line

-Green means go

-Stop signs are fairly simple to understand. The first person who stops goes first

-Just because you think you're important when you're on your cell phone it does not mean the world revolves around you. Yes, that car is coming straight at you as you decide to turn right in front of him. Yes, other people can hear you loudly babbling on your phone. Dumbass

-Turn off your cell phones when watching a movie. Mobile technology has gotten to the point where all services have voice mail and caller ID. Use it. The only people who can have their phones on whenever they want would be doctors, emergency personnel, and government figures

-The world doesn't make you fat, you make yourself fat. Get that donut out of your face then. It's your choice. McDonald's did not force you to get the Super Sized Extra Value Meal with a Diet Coke

-And why Diet Coke? You get all this fatty food and you get a Diet Coke? It's not going to make a difference

-Do not sue someone because of your own stupidity. What ever happened to common sense? Yes, when you heat something up, it gets hot. People should not need a warning label for that. What's next? Warnings on sheets of paper about how paper can possibly give you paper cuts?

-On a two-lane road when I'm going to the speed limit, I'm not going to speed up because you're tailgating me, I'm glowing to slow down a bit to annoy the hell out of you until you decide to back off

-When a cop has someone pulled over on the side of the road and you're in the far lane, don't slow down. He's not going to stop what he's doing just to pursue you for going the speed limit

-Yes, accidents happen. Please don't slow traffic down when an accident happened on the other side of the interstate. If you want to see gore so badly, go watch a movie

-Stupid governors and congressmen: Video games do not cause kids to murder people. They prevent that stuff as kids can vent their frustrations at killing a computer human rather than a real human. Face it, there's violent movies out there so why can't there be violent games? If you're so worried, make incentives as to why stores should enforce the ESRB ratings. And kids that blame games after they've viciously murder people? They're just looking for a scapegoat to get themselves out of more trouble or they're just plain psycho in the first place

-Plane travel is the safest form of travel in the United States. Don't let stupid ass terrorists prevent you from going on a plane. They could easily strike at a busy highway, a crowded train station, or a big building

-Do not tear your ticket for the usher unless you know what part to give him. Heck, just don't tear the ticket at all. It's so much easier just letting the usher tear it. It doesn't need a lot of effort as tickets are perferated and very easy for the usher to tear

-The best thing an American can do it to know his rights, at least basic ones. Then less people would be screwed over by businesses and stupid or corrupt police and government officials

-Hey, idiots, it's not because people don't like hand-drawn animation, it's because you need a story. Hand-drawn looks much nicer than CGI. It just happens that the good CG movies have good stories to back them

-Widescreen (original aspect ratio) is better. I don't enjoy paying $20 to see a movie chopped up and not be able to see the director's true vision. I want to know who that person is talking to and I don't want two floating faces talking to each other

-Organized religion is one of the stupidest ideas out there. With that comes stupid and petty wars and conflicts over beliefs. People are allowed to believe whatever they want. There are six billion people on the planet. There's no way everybody can believe the same thing. Without opinions, this world would be a boring place

-NASCAR is a sport. You try sitting in a car for hours going nearly 200 miles-per-hour and only inches away from other cars. It takes a lot of stamina. Try hitting a wall at 150 mph and be fine with it afterwards. Try being a member of the pit crew, teams competing against each other. I'd love to see you pick up a racing tire, or jack up a car with only two pumps of the jack, or holding a 12 gallon gas can. Try doing all this within 14 seconds. Both sides of the car.

-What I don't understand is why is it bad that Janet Jackson exposed a breat (with a nipple shield in the first place) yet any kid can go to the beach and see women wearing much less? Why is it bad that she exposed a breast when TV, even on the news, have some gruesome and graphic violence? Where was the FCC when Lil Kim wore a simple dot over one of her breasts at an awards show? Hello, idiots, it's a person's body, it's natural, we are all born naked. Europeans are laughing at us because we get all pissy when a natural part of a person is exposed. It's just a breast. It feeds babies. So what?

-Don't get bitchy at an employee doing his job. Especially when signs would have helped you
? Girl: "Is Scooby-Doo this way?"
? Me: "Which one?"
? Girl: "Scooby-Doo 2."
? Me: "No, I mean what showing? What time?"
? Grandmother, getting pissed for some reason and in a pissy voice: "12:30 one."
? Me: "It's the other way."

-The big ass number on your ticket is the theater number

-Why do people put their tickets in the most inaccesible places when they know they're going to have to give it to someone shortly?

-Use your turn signal. It's for signalling turns and lane changes. People, it's dumb slowing down and stopping when there's a car behind you and you don't use your signal

-Please, please don't tap employees on the shoulder or touch them in any other way. It annoys them and with such strict sexual harassment laws now, it could come back and haunt you. You have a mouth. Use it to say something

-Person seeing a movie, seeing me standing there with tickets and a post to stand at: "Oh, do I give this to you?"
Of course you do, you idiot! Why do you think I'm standing here? For my health?!

The End

[Vengeance]

I hate people sometimes. I could have given you a similar list from at least two of my jobs.

[Supermercado]

Good rant. I'll give that a 9/10. I didn't see any profanity, but based on the quality of the gripes - I have many of the same ones - it merits high ranking. Good show.

[Catfish]

I'll go TMNT on it and give it a 9.95 (minus five hundredths for lack of profane punctuation, lol)

[elmono311]

My parents and mother-in-law frequent the board. I felt I didn't need to "spoil" my image :-)

[Supermercado]

I'll go TMNT on it and give it a 9.95 (minus five hundredths for lack of profane punctuation, lol)

Dangit, I don't have 9.95 on my laptop or I'd so link to the mp3 right now. I do have it, though.

[Vengeance]

My parents and mother-in-law frequent the board. I felt I didn't need to "spoil" my image :-)

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[elmono311]

I knew you'd find that funny

[Supermercado]

I found it funny, too. And I think it's rather humorous when you consider what I said in my crappy toast at your reception.

[elmono311]

Your toast wasn't crappy

[Supermercado]

Sure it was. But the point is that given what I said, you being worried about your image is comical.

[Vengeance]

Your toast was not crappy. I hate to say that I don't remember much about it. I was so nervous that night. For lots of reasons...and when you gave your toast all I could hear was my voice inside my head going, 'It's okay, you can do it. It's just a toast. Yay you!'

[LostArtofRolando]

john at a wedding, much less toasting would be a site to behold.  The last time I spent more than a few hours around the guy was our senior year of high school... and at that time i think our conversations consisted of south park quotes (still an awesome movie, though i don't really care for the tv show), siamese twin references (we're connected at the foot), and the phrases "sweet jesus" and "yer mom" at every possible opportunity.  Ahhhh, so much hijinx.  So anyways, i'm guessing the guy has matured or something. haha

[jitspoe]

I'd say it deserves a higher ranking for being able to express yourself without profanity.

One thing I really disagree with, though.

-Hey, idiots, it's not because people don't like hand-drawn animation, it's because you need a story. Hand-drawn looks much nicer than CGI. It just happens that the good CG movies have good stories to back them

Personally I think CGI looks better, but hand drawn animation tends to have better stories.  IE: "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" -- great graphics... but... that's about it.  And for hand drawn, there are many -- Hellsing, Kenshin, X TV, Fullmetal alchemist, Fullmetal panic (though that did have a little CG here and there), Naruto, and a bunch more that don't pop to mind right away.

Granted, there is plenty of CGI with good stories (ie: LOTR - top notch CGI AND story) and plenty of bad anime (DBZ -- how many episodes does it take to power up and fire an energy ball?), but as a trend I think it tends to be the opposite of what you suggest.

Also, there are a lot of people who don't like hand-drawn animation and it has nothing to do with the story.

[elmono311]

I'd say it deserves a higher ranking for being able to express yourself without profanity.

One thing I really disagree with, though.


Personally I think CGI looks better, but hand drawn animation tends to have better stories.? IE: "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" -- great graphics... but... that's about it.? And for hand drawn, there are many -- Hellsing, Kenshin, X TV, Fullmetal alchemist, Fullmetal panic (though that did have a little CG here and there), Naruto, and a bunch more that don't pop to mind right away.

Granted, there is plenty of CGI with good stories (ie: LOTR - top notch CGI AND story) and plenty of bad anime (DBZ -- how many episodes does it take to power up and fire an energy ball?), but as a trend I think it tends to be the opposite of what you suggest.

Also, there are a lot of people who don't like hand-drawn animation and it has nothing to do with the story.

To me, hand-drawn stuff looks more fluid and less fake. LOTR is not what I consider animation. It's a live action movie with computer special effects.

But my real point is the fact that studios are abandoning hand-drawn animation for CG animation based on the fact that Disney couldn't craft a good story to go with the hand-drawn animation and everybody figured that no one wanted to see hand-drawn animation. Lilo & Stitch and The Iron Giant (with some CG animation for the Giant that used cell shading) proved that there's still some spark in hand-drawn stuff

[jitspoe]

Well, a lot of the "hand-drawn" stuff isn't really hand drawn in the traditional sense.  I'll bet lilo and stitch has a lot more CG in it than you would expect.  Real hand-drawn animation is NOT fluid like that.

I suppose if you're just referring to american animation, though, I can see your point.  You need to watch some good Japanese animation.

[elmono311]

I dislike anime

[Supermercado]

john at a wedding, much less toasting would be a site to behold.  The last time I spent more than a few hours around the guy was our senior year of high school... and at that time i think our conversations consisted of south park quotes (still an awesome movie, though i don't really care for the tv show), siamese twin references (we're connected at the foot), and the phrases "sweet jesus" and "yer mom" at every possible opportunity.  Ahhhh, so much hijinx.  So anyways, i'm guessing the guy has matured or something. haha

Drink root beer! Bitch.

[jitspoe]

I dislike anime

What have you watched?  It doesn't make sense that you'd dislike animation based solely on its origin.

[elmono311]

Anime just doesn't interest me

[Supermercado]

I've seen a few animes here and there and overheard a lot of them while you and Brandon and Phil were watching them. They never appealed to me. But you already knew that I don't like anime

[jitspoe]

Anime just doesn't interest me

So if Lilo and Stitch came from Japan, you wouldn't like it?

[elmono311]

When did I say that I didn't like animation that came from Japan? I said I dislike anime, the animation style. If Lilo & Stitch was anime, more than likely I wouldn't have liked it

[disnut8]

OK - it's taken me all day to respond to the original post.  Started my morning out great though!

Elmono - I'm sure your parents realize that you are still a virgin and have never uttered a vulgarity in your life.  You were raised in the purest of homes, after all.

Pick yourself up from the floor.  Only kidding.

And you missed one that not five minutes after leaving the house from reading your post.

Fog lights on vehicles should ONLY be used when there's, drr, FOG!  Not when it's a clear morning.  And especially not when you are a jagoff in a big honking SUV that totally blind me whenever I look in the rear view mirror.

[elmono311]

Yeah, that's one I forgot. Why do people use fog lights when there is no fog?