Yankee - Head for the Speedway

I posted on the Off Topic forum about other Atlanta things but here's one specific for sports. The title is "Listen Up Yankees: Here's How to Fit in"

The number one thing to do to fit in, according to the AJC is:

Head for the speedway. The fastest crash course in how to be a Modern Southerner is to attend a NASCAR race at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

The sport itself is really just bad driving and tailgating and cussing at one another at excessive speed, which most of us already know how to do from commuting on GA400. The inside knowledge is what to take to the race.

The cardinal rule: Don't bring anything you can't afford to drink, lose, break or divorce. The beverage of choice is beer, or soft drinks for toddlers. Concessions are expensive (NOTE: $4 for a bottle of water, $24 for a small pizza), so bring your own food from the three major food groups: fried, deep fried and extra crispy.

Men don't have to wear anything from the waist up, except a race cap, which is essential, not for protection from the sun but for making a statement (Red Man, Terry Labonte, Hillary Clinton).

Take a seat cushion. Hard-cores take a headset tuned to the drivers' frequency, so they car hear them berate their pit crews.

A designated driver is a good idea: Bring Mama.