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Author Topic: A Classic Overreaction  (Read 1881 times)
bigjerkface
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« Reply #25 on: Feb 05, 2005, 09:03 AM »

Supermercado,

I've been to Columbia, South Carolina three times in the last year, and I can tell you that yes, SC drivers are morons, but a different breed of morons from Atlantans.

1.) Atlantans have two distinctly different speeds on their cars: stop and go. No inbetween. No cruising speed, nothing like that, just haul ass or slam on the brakes.

2.) Turn signals do not exist. Usage of turn signals will only signify that you are NOT from around here; if you use them and are a native Atlantan, the proper usage is to turn them on while you are already turning.

3.) Speaking of turning, the only proper speed to turn is too damn fast, as one must adhere to rule #1. In order to turn like a true Atlantan, you must slam on the brakes at the last possible second, sending the gonads of the person behind you up into their throat as they do the same in order to avoid hitting you, and then start turning. For extra courtesy, turn on your turn signal halfway through.

4.) In bad weather, hit yourself over the head with a large, blunt object (a toaster or deep fryer will do) until thoroughly concussed, and then go drive. If it is raining, and the speed limit on the road is 55, and you normally go 70, go 80 instead (I-285 is great for this).

4a.) However, if there is anything even remotely resembling frozen precipitation, the only place you will be driving is the grocery store as it is clearly the second coming of Christ. Oh, and drive 90 in the 30. If you're going fast, the ice can't make you slide or anything!

5.) Stoplights are not mandatory, they are suggestions. On green, you go. On yellow, you haul ass. After it has turned red, three more people need to go.

6.) What's a school zone (this one pisses me off the most)? I see the pretty blinking light...but what's it mean? Oh, wait, it's yellow! Speed up!!!

Any other Atlantans have anything to add?
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Supermercado
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« Reply #26 on: Feb 05, 2005, 09:15 AM »

Any other Atlantans have anything to add?

No, but I will replying to this thread again with my Columbia complaints later today when I've got more time.
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disnut8
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« Reply #27 on: Feb 05, 2005, 09:39 AM »

Any other Atlantans have anything to add?

Yeah, see a new post about school zones and other school issues.

And welcome to planetsuper, bigjerkface.? I'm seeing a whole new side to you.? ?Cheesy
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LostArtofRolando
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« Reply #28 on: Feb 05, 2005, 10:45 AM »

i have family down in GA, and we always fly into Atlanta, and believe me i agree with you wholeheartedly.  I think the speed limit is 65 or 70, but keeping up the "flow" of traffic means doing at least 80-85.  Not that i mind driving that fast, speed limit here in NE is 75, so i usually cruise about 79-82 to stay a little ahead of everyone else (I had to commute between Omaha [home] and Lincoln [UNL] everyday last semester for school).  A little ahead there in GA is close to 100.  yikes!  speed wouldnt be so bad if people used turn signals, but like you said... i'm rather hoping i never have to live around that area.
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elmono311
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« Reply #29 on: Feb 05, 2005, 11:11 AM »

I let my parents do the driving whenever I visit them in Atlanta. Crazy Southern drivers
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disnut8
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« Reply #30 on: Feb 05, 2005, 01:37 PM »

A couple more things about Atlanta drivers.  You almost never see two people in a car.  Car pooling here is next to impossible.  And forget about the public transportation.  Each different area has their own separate bus system.  And the subway, MARTA, isn't allowed to go out into the growing suburbs because the beautiful people are afraid of the "downtown element" invading during the day.  So basically, it's every man to himself.  It's self preservation at its finest.  My commute to a job that I really love, is about an hour and fifteen minutes.  That's fine but I take so many less than traditional roads, I feel like Mrs. Todd in the Stephen King short story.

The second thing about Atlanta drivers is that a cell phone is necessary and you need to make a call the minute you start your car.  And then don't stop making calls until you pull into your driveway.

Atlanta driving is NOT for the faint hearted.
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Catfish
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« Reply #31 on: Feb 13, 2005, 12:12 AM »

Okies, as a Yankee driver, I feel obligated to chime in and offer general thoughts.

As a New Jersey driver who has been on the turnpike, who has driven onto Manhattan island on New Year's Freaking Eve (yeah, that actually happened), who has driven the length of the Parkway, Atlanta drivers are fat ASS.

I have never seen such a group of people have so much difficulty with the simple concept of merging and lanes.  Yes, a large road (I-75) is coming in from the left onto I-85.  SO MOVE TO THE RIGHT A LANE OR TWO AND KEEP MOVING!  This is not hard to understand... Yeah, there's a lot of volume through Atlanta during rush hour, but ya know what?  Rt 42 which intersects (over about 2 miles) with I-295, I-76, I-676, State 130, State 45 and State 55 at the NJ/PA border is a lane wider than downtown Atlanta's 85/75 combination with greater volume and more exits and moves 600x better.

Why?  NJ has a simple law: "Keep right except to pass".  If you're going slow, you get the hell out of the left lane or you're gonna get your stupid ass pulled over (if not run over).  Yield the left lanes to faster traffic and the flow will move much easier.  Additionally, we don't have nearly the same sort of idiots up there that I find in GA...  The speed limit on 42 is 55, which means traffic runs a general 65-70.  You don't get idiots flying at 85-95 like you do in Atlanta... it just doesn't happen.

I really wish this country would have much stricter laws for getting licenses that would require some demonstration of driving skill as opposed to lack of ineptitude.  2/3 of the people on the roads really don't need to be there and I really think it's about time someone started doing something about that.  (for the second time today, </soapbox>)
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disnut8
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« Reply #32 on: Feb 13, 2005, 04:08 PM »

I have never seen such a group of people have so much difficulty with the simple concept of merging and lanes.

Never going to happen down here.  The thing that isn't realized is that this is the South.  People are too damn polite.  It's "oh my lord, that car wants to merge in front of me, I'm going to slow down so it can".

Don't even get me started on four way stop signs.  Car A going east and Car B going west do NOT go at the same time.  One of them waits for the other to go first.  Both are gesturing for the other one to go.

I think it's because the drivers want more time to talk on their cell phones.
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Catfish
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« Reply #33 on: Feb 13, 2005, 04:16 PM »

LMFAO, so true, all of it, lol...

If only driving worked well under all those circumstances... hehe
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