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Author Topic: IWS - New Bionic Woman  (Read 359 times)
Vengeance
Diamond Member
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Posts: 2536


Supreme Allied Commander
« on: Jan 04, 2007, 07:41 PM »
In a moment indicative of NBC's commitment to bring America quality, original programming, it was announced today that The Bionic Woman will get an update in a new pilot for the network. In the original '70s series, tennis pro Jaime Sommers was granted amplified (bionic) hearing, a super-strong (bionic) right arm, and powerful (bionic) legs. Unfortunately, with the late '80s invention of Robocops, good hearing and some robot limbs just doesn't cut it anymore. Here are my notes to keep the series fresh and relevant for today's viewers:

- Instead of the old repetitive sound and slow-motion when using bionic parts, it plays SexyBack.
- While making the legs bionic, scientists were forced to infuse the brains of one of the Wayans brothers (doesn't matter which ones) in each leg. So when she uses them, they bicker and make little jokes about how skinny white girls' legs are.
- Runs Linux (appealing to nerds for some reason).
- Bionic lesbianism.
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PiCaSSo
Guest
« Reply #1 on: Jan 04, 2007, 07:56 PM »
Hey I liked Bionic Woman and The Six Million Dollar Man back in the day but I can't imagine even making those changes will make them very appealing now LOL
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elmono311
Global Moderator
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Posts: 4827


Delish in the dish.
« Reply #2 on: Jan 04, 2007, 11:48 PM »
She'll probably have an iPod built in and at least 6 USB ports... and I don't want to know where the USB ports would be...
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She always did love to dance.

"Michael Waltrip is the worst driver in NASCAR period. I cannot believe Napa signed back on with him." -Clint Bowyer after getting in a wreck at Bristol, 8/23/08
KnacK
Senior Member
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Posts: 284
« Reply #3 on: Jan 05, 2007, 11:53 AM »
play-n-plug instead of plug-n-play??
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jitspoe
Platinum Member
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Posts: 1511
« Reply #4 on: Jan 05, 2007, 03:34 PM »
Quote from: elmono311 on Jan 04, 2007, 11:48 PM
She'll probably have an iPod built in and at least 6 USB ports... and I don't want to know where the USB ports would be...
All I can think of is purging logs and data streams...
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BALETED!
J0E
Junior Member
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Posts: 15
« Reply #5 on: Jan 25, 2007, 02:40 PM »
Quote from: KnacK on Jan 05, 2007, 11:53 AM
play-n-plug instead of plug-n-play??

gotta plug her in to get the initial charge!
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PiCaSSo
Guest
« Reply #6 on: Jan 25, 2007, 03:03 PM »
Nuclear... No need Smiley  Takes a lickin and keeps on spittin!  Heh
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