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[Vengeance]

I have a few things that I'd like to run by people and I don't know a lot of you personally so please offer up anything you want as far as advice.

1. My little one got one of those stupid applications for the Miss Ohio Princess pageant. Anyone know anything about the people that run it? It's called National American Miss. Is it legit? Do you think I can get someone to sponsor my daughter for it? I would do this if it were something that I thought could benefit her(confidence, scholarships, etc.), but I don't want to mess her up. The one good thing is that they don't allow makeup on the kids so they're not just looking for dressup dolls.

2. Some stupid punkass kid punched my daughter in the head yesterday. He was friends with her and now his antics have become harrassing. She cries because she doesn't want to go to school with him. I told her to talk to the teacher and tell her everything that's going on. She did and the teacher talked to the boy. That's when Marlie got hit in the head. The teacher got really pissed at the boy and now he's in more trouble, but they give these kids so many chances before anything big happens.

I WANT to go there and throw his scrawny ass against a wall and tell him that he'll face me if he touches my baby again. I WANT to go to his house and take out the windows with a baseball bat and crack a good one between his father's legs and let him know that he'd better start raising his son better since he's the only kid he's ever going to be able to create now that I've destroyed those chances. I WANT to force the kid to go to another school altogether.

These are not things I can do...legally...and I'm curious if anyone had a bully problem and if their moms or dads did anything that I should or shouldn't do. I don't want to upset Marlie further, but I don't want to let this go on since I don't think the school is doing a great job. I know that I'm going to request that they not be in the same class from now on, but they'll still have recess together. Any tips?

[coffeecup]

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH----let grandma at him and his dad.............I'll be back in a few weeks, so if things haven't gotten better------it's really hard trying to stay out of it and let mommy handle it-----but i'm a grandma---what more can i say?

[coffeecup]

ohhhh---this was about the beauty queen thing.  well, it wouldn't be fair to the other kids----if my grandbaby girl is in it----there's no question who will win----the others might as well not try-------

[RichN]

I wouldn't do the pageant thing.  You might think it could give her some self esteem, but only if she wins.  It becomes an all-consuming event.  Think Jon Benet Ramsey.  I even thought about that during CSI:NY with the dog show.  Why can't some people just have a pet, without trying to prove how great a pet they are?  Demon Child (elmono's words, not mine) is fine as she is.  Really likes science.  I'd gently push her more in that direction than anywhere else.  Win some science awards, which are more meaningful to society than a beauty award.

Now, for the bully.  Has this happened before, or do you expect it to happen again?  Don't really blame the teacher, as they are handcuffed as to really punishing any child these days.  It all comes down to the parents.  Look how well we did with elmono...er, wait, never mind.  Anyway, talk to the principal and not the teacher.  Perhaps the threat of filing a police report would help.

[disnut8]

I'm going against the husband here but talk to Demon Child about entering the pageant.  Honestly, I've shown that picture of her in the chef's hat at work and everyone agrees she's too adorable for words.  BUT she has to understand that she might not win first place.  There's only one person that will do that.  If it's her fine, if not, she's still special.

And yes, I think you have enough Marlie fans to get a sponsor for her.

For the bully - the only thing you can do is work with the teacher.  It'll take time but it sounds like the kid is testing the waters and seeing how much crap he can get away with.  The teacher doesn't seem to let him be totally out of control once she's aware of the situation.  It might be a good idea to impress to Marlie that should something happen again, she should immediately tell the teacher and not wait until she gets home.

Dealing with the parents ain't going to work.  Where do you think he got his values (or lack thereof) in the first place?  And his father probably doesn't have any balls left anyway to smush with a baseball bat.

[RichN]

I guess part of what I was saying is that academics can be even more rewarding than any beauty pagent.  Besides, she'd be the only hottie in the geek clubs.

[Vengeance]

Well, I talked to Marlie about the beauty pageant thing and we're not doing it. Here's why...

Me: Honey...I wanted to talk to you. Today I received something in the mail for you to join a beauty pageant and-

Marlie: *jumping up and pumping her fist into the air* YES!

Me: Now...wait a minute. We need to talk.

Marlie: I HAVE to do it.

I let it drop at that point and then I had her get a shower. I brought it up again.

Me: Marlie, a beauty pageant takes a lot of work and-

Marlie: But I want to win a beauty pageant.

Me: Okay, here's the thing. You realize that you might not win, right?

Marlie: Mommy, you just have to make sure I win.

That was the end of it in my mind. She's too focused on winning and I don't want to destroy my kid's self esteem if she didn't. My husband brought up a good point...in front of Marlie's dad and stepmom(they thought it was a riot)...He said that I could put her in the pageant and then just spread my legs for the judges....what a hubby, huh?   

As for the bully...he punched her in the shoulder today and I went in and talked to the teacher. She told me that she's watching him more and I let her know that I was aware of the situation. She apparently didn't know all of what happened because it was happening at recess and the recess person thought it was an isolated event.

Now he's going to be watched more, but I spoke to Marlie's dad and stepmom and the four of us are pretty firm on the fact that this isn't going to go on much longer before we intervene. Lucky for us, Marlie has someone that adores her sitting on the school board as a very important member and a major community leader. Hell...the mayor knows her on a first name basis(not me. Just Marlie. LOL).

Either way, this won't go on much longer. Considering her dad told her that if Scott holds her down(he's been doing that to other kids and piling coats on top of them) she is to punch, kick, or whatever to get him off of her. We agreed that if she gets into trouble that we would all be in there(including the school board member). It's good to have friends.

[disnut8]

I agree with your decision to not enter Marlie in the pageant.  That's why I suggested you talk to her.  The reaction you got wasn't the greatest since she was too intent on winning.

And it's VERY comforting to know that all four of Marlie's parents are together on everything.  You guys have something very special going on for a very special little girl.  You can't go wrong.

And you say you're not a good mother.  Jeez, I think this post just proves you are and always have been and always will be.

[Catfish]

Having dated a former pageant girl, they can involve a lot of work but if it's something your daughter enjoys (or thinks she may do), it's a good chance for her to build some self-esteem or get some scholarship money.  Stage presence and comfort in front of large groups of people is a fairly invaluable trait (being as Americans' number one fear is public speaking).


As far as the bully goes, jump on that quick.  I'd agree with the earlier comment that if the teacher can't/won't do anything, take it to the next level sooner, rather than later.

[elmono311]

When Marlie gets to the point where she doesn't have to win all the time (she used to cry whenver we did beat her, like racing to the car or something) then it might be an option. She's a very sore loser

[coffeecup]

When Marlie gets to the point where she doesn't have to win all the time (she used to cry whenver we did beat her, like racing to the car or something) then it might be an option. She's a very sore loser

she gets that from her mom